MindEnergetix: Dealing with Grief and Shame

Natan (name changed) is a European traveller, who came to me for a session. He was a travelling through OZ on a working visa. He wanted to work on an obsessive thought he kept revisiting for the last 9 years. 9 Years ago he broke up with his then girlfriend Hillary (also changed) and keeps replaying one particular scene that he has been obsessing over for that long. He keeps wondering what would have happened had it played out differently and wants to accept that he is no longer with her and let her go. 

I asked Natan to tune into the body and tell me where he feels the impact when he thinks of the scene and he pointed to the chest area and he said it feels like Shame, which he also felt in the back of the head. He also said he could feel Regret in his abdomen for hurting her. As Shame felt the strongest, we agreed to work with this.

Interestingly as we focused on Natan’s chest the feeling of Shame actually moved to his hands. After guiding him through a trance we journeyed together to a significant scene where he was 8 years old. He found it extremely difficult to speak about what was happening. Although clearly in trance Natan was not offering much information.

Natan relayed that it felt like part of him was fighting the session. We connected him to that aspect of himself and found out that part was called Anger. 

This part had been with Natan since he was a 14 years old. Anger was not offering much so I took Natan to the time that Anger was created. Anger took us to a place where Natan was with 2 other family members who were also young at the time. His father was also present. One of the members (who were both girls) did not like the fact that he was addressing his father by his first name Richard rather than calling him Dad.

That made young Natan angry as he believed he could address his father by whatever name he pleased. One of the healing techniques used was to connect young Natan to his adult self - usually called a childhood rescue.

Natan shed tears whilst embracing his older self – quite moving. It turned out that Natan called his father by his first name because it appeared to the younger version of himself that he was not loved by his father. "I want my Father to love me but he does not that’s why I call him by his first name". I asked the 8 year old Natan to ask his older self whether it was true his father does not love him and was told No it’s not true – he was probably too young when he had me. I shifted Natan’s consciousness to his father so he would get a sense of what his father really thought. I'm always in awe of how much the unconscious mind is able to perceive. 

He exclaimed "He’s happy about me!" I asked does he love you and is he able to show you how he feels. "He’s happy looking at me". But was not able to show it. Natan started to cry. I switched him back to his younger self to understand how he now felt and he explained that this helped him accept his life and his journey. It made him feel that he could now move on. The anger had lessened towards his family member. 

His older self guided him to remove the remnants of anger from his body. He was shown how to control it and make it smaller, so we practiced what he was shown by his older self and it went on its own. We were told to replace it with Self love. I asked him if he knew how to do this and told him to ask his older self what to do. He had to trust himself. So I suggested he take a moment to feel what it’s like to completely trust himself which we built up as a resource for him.

Having transformed the energy, we were now able to address the belief about his father not loving him, and this now proved to have no validity for him and he was able to refer to his father as DAD. After some work to anchor the new energy, into his system, I checked in with Shame and this had completely vanished from his chest – but was still present at the back of the head.

This time we were lead to an event with Hillary when he was 16. Interestingly Hillary was taller than usual and he was feeling small. I asked what he believed about himself. He was protecting himself from her anger and feeling extremely sensitive. He was breathing heavily and a little distressed. This was familiar so we went to the route and cause of that feeling. He took me to a scene where he was 11 and there was a guy making fun of Natan which made him angry a feeling he felt again in his hands. This was also familiar so again we journeyed to the first time he felt that way and finally ended up at school when he was 4 years old. It’s important to find the initial sensitising event as this is quite often the key to unhinging a whole raft of issues with similar energies.

Natan was playing with 2 girls. There were other friends who were jealous of him playing with the girls. He was teaching them music. He is confused about the fact one set of friends were not sharing in his happiness. He didn’t understand why they are angry at him when all he was doing was being happy playing. He was torn between the two friends and the two girls and he did not want to feel divided. This time his older selves were not much use to the young Natan so we journeyed to find the soul contract with the girls and the other children to understand what his soul had intended him to learn when he set up this situation.

He said that he started to connect to playing music with these girls. Music makes him feel like himself. The contract with the other 2 was to present choice – to choose the girls instead of the friends. Natan had to learn to make choices. This situation was teaching Natan the difference between a good vibration and a bad vibration. He didn't make the best of that situation because of the confusion.

I asked about the source of the confusion. Natan said this confusion is like a signal when someone does something bad. It helps him understand when something abnormal or irrational happens so he comes back to himself.

He also realised he was in his element when he was teaching and playing music. This made him feel ecstatic. He no longer felt anything about the other boys. Natan remembered that he had been constantly prevented from playing music and that was a recurring theme. 

We Journeyed back to the 11-year-old and the ager was gone and he was confident instead. Next we came back to Hillary at 16 and that was lighter. Hillary had shrunk back to normal size and he was not needing to protect himself from her anger. I asked how he felt about Hillary being angry. I feel good.

We worked on the reoccurring thought. The thought was lighter. What he realised he had calm down and look. I encourage him to try that and he noted that people were more peaceful. I built that up as a resource and took him through a process to address the reoccurring scene.

Natan had a massive shift as the 8 year old, realising that his father did in fact love him, which produced a complete shift in his level of acceptance of himself and much healing from the realisations. He received lots of insights and new perspectives and the times after the session that I have bumped into him he now seems a lot less heavy. He cleared some massive blocks and seemed to free his spirit.